montfelisky: Howl's moving castle (my home comes with me wherever i go)
I went to Edinburgh this weekend! DublinBFF and I had decided to choose a city to convene in for a minibreak, rather than her come to London or me go to Dublin. We HAD decided on Liverpool, only to discover that all the hotels are very expensive in Liverpool through April and May (and possibly forever), so we made a shortlist of other cities and decided Edinburgh offered the most in terms of nice walks, pretty architecture, good food and sea access. It was such a nice break! We only went from Friday to Sunday afternoon but it felt as though we managed to pack a lot into that time without it feeling busy or frantic.

I took the train and arrived a few hours before DublinBFF, so I set up in a coffeeshop to work on training contract applications (currently for Wiggin) while waiting for her flight to arrive. We had a very late lunch of toasted wraps and salad at the Rocksalt Cafe and had the smallest of wanders before getting a taxi to our hotel, which was the Best Western Braid Hills Hotel. It was up on a hillside outside the city centre with a nice view of a park and some beautiful houses. It was a charmingly old-fashioned hotel which was unfortunately full of hen parties. I gave DublinBFF the room with a view and a bath and took the smaller room with a view of the car park, which was supposed to be an act of selfless generosity on my part, but it turned out my room was exceedingly quiet at night while hers got filled with the monkey shrieks of stag parties in the street outside. 

After flopping for a bit, we went for a walk through the Hermitage of Braid, which is a beautiful stretch of woodland along a stream. The air was so cold and green-smelling. We found a hill and decided to climb it, then trekked down the other side and went into Edinburgh for dinner, which was Japanese food. I had teriyaki tofu and rice and DublinBFF had vegetarian soba in broth with tofu and egg. 

On Saturday, we went for breakfast (mine was scrambled eggs on toast and a slice of chocolate orange cake, hers was avocado and feta on toast and a peach smoothie) and then we went to the SEA! We found a tripadvisor list of five best beaches and chose Longniddry as the most interesting of them. The best part was deciding we absolutely would put our feet in the sea, so we took our shoes off and rolled our jeans up to our knees and ran into the surf. It was so cold it burned right through to the bone. We had to run circles on the damp sand to get the blood circulating again and then ran straight back into the sea. I thought, ah, we are like two dogs right now! How nice!

After we had walked as far as we cared to, we returned along the beach and got chips from a van in the car park. They went cold almost immediately but it was very nice sitting in the grass on the dunes above the beach, feeling the sea air on our faces, eating chips by the sea. I had parmesan and truffle oil on mine and DublinBFF had chips with scampi.

We were both feeling a bit glazed and tired by this point so we got the train back to Edinburgh and bought some snacks and went back to the hotel to nap before dinner. I napped very deeply and woke groggy and hungry, so lay on my back eating mini eggs to restore my equilibrium. It felt very luxurious, to lie in a big bed surrounded by comfy pillows, cronching mini eggs. Then we trotted into Edinburgh for Indian food (aubergine and potatoes, spinach and paneer, a truly sumptuous dal) and returned again for our big sleeps. 

On Sunday I broke my phone by accidentally winging it into a radiator after tripping on a towel. I remain pretty sanguine about this - I quite like not having a phone and I didn't injure myself. We checked out and went for breakfast at the Salt Cafe (a different cafe to the Rocksalt Cafe of Friday's lunch). There was a charming spaniel next to us, which was a Highlight. I had French toast, yoghurt and fruit; DublinBFF had Turkish eggs and sourdough bread. We then waddled our way happily into the city and had pastries in the park for quite some time, then did some more walking around and taking of photos. We weren't particularly hungry but decided it would be prudent to have a small lunch before travelling home, so went to our first choice place which was closed and then went to a disappointing pan-Asian restaurant which did an amazing pineapple and coconut drink but food which all tasted burnt and slightly caramelised. 

Then DublinBFF went off to get her bus to the airport and I went off to navigate the travails of getting my train e-ticket when I no longer had any e-device. It threatened to be a saga because it turns out if you book online and go e-ticket only to save the environment, train companies can't actually print your ticket for you, but it turns out if you stand there wailing sadly they will let you email the e-ticket to them from your laptop and then they will print it from their wifi printers. 

I got home very late and I am tired but refreshed this week. I did the thing with Edinburgh that I do with everywhere at the moment: could I live here? Would I be happier here than in London?
montfelisky: Chihiro standing under a tree (Default)
I was catsitting for a friend since the 28th of December until yesterday, which was two and a half weeks of glorious solitude. My dad picked me up yesterday evening and I am spending a few days at their flat by the sea and then returning to London tomorrow evening. It has been a really nice little interlude away. I got a bit spooky at night - I've never really liked being in a house on my own at night, compared to being in a flat (which is fine) - but the days were just so restful. I was working from her husband's study overlooking the garden and every so often I would turn around and there were two round furry faces watching me because the cats like to sit quietly in whatever room I was in and would follow me patiently around the house as I made tea, did laundry, etc. 

There was a brief spell last week with no internet. They got the lawn aerated on Wednesday and it turns out the man aerating it also aerated the phone cable, so I ended up going into the office on Thursday rather than hotspotting from my phone, but then the engineer came on Friday and ran a temporary line up to the house which has been working just fine. It was funny, because when the internet first went down I was trying frantically to fix it and feeling very fretful about being on my own with no internet and no Netflix, but as soon as I found out it was beyond my power to fix, a tremendous calm descended and I just got on with reading books and watching DVDs.

I spent last weekend going on two deliciously long walks along the river and catching up on all my voicenote correspondence. There is something very luxurious about going for a long walk somewhere pretty and listening to voicenotes from friends. 

I have been easing my way into reading again. I finished reading Anne of Avonlea (a re-read) while I was catsitting and have just begun Hanya Yanagihara's A Little Life, which has been one of the chonkiest books on my fossilised TBR pile, so reading it will feel like a tremendous achievement. The blurb definitely sounds like my sort of book but I generally don't get along very well with books from the Man Booker list, which is such a statement to be making, and yet it is a statement of truth.

And apart from that, my life is applying for training contracts and hoping for success on that front. 

montfelisky: Chihiro standing on the balcony over the water (it's a new dawn a new day a new life)
I have been chipping away at my bad mood with a lot of long frozen walks with the cold biting at my face. I love this weather. It makes my skin feel alive and I return feeling refreshed and sleepy. It turns out that much of my struggle with winter has been having to get up at 6am to commute into the city for work and now that I work at home where my lunchbreak is (on a good day) spent wandering through the woods I can much more appreciate the shattering cold of the day and the longer sleepful nights.

Because it has been so cold, I am now sleeping with two duvets, which means that I feel pleasantly weighted down when I get into bed. I'm not entirely sure that I need two duvets as I am a very warm person and an extremely warm sleeper, but my mother has become exceedingly concerned because I also like to sleep with my windows wide open so that my room is like a cryosphere when I come in at night.

[personal profile] qian bought me the Gideon the Ninth audiobook and I have been enjoying it so much! I tried to read the ebook last year and bounced off of it, I think in part because my reading focus was so poor. The audiobook is incredibly well done and really brings the characters to life. It has been a bright and unexpected pleasure.

One of the other things I've been really enjoying is seeing all the posts from my friends celebrating Lunar New Year. My Instagram feed is profligate with delicious food photos. I decided to treat myself to szechuan tofu from a new restaurant nearby, which I'm hoping is delicious - this particular part of London is wonderful for Greek, Polish and Jewish food, but less so for anything else. But my hope is eternal!






montfelisky: Chihiro standing under a tree (Default)
Firstly I must begin this post with the most massive of thank yous to [personal profile] such_heights for helping me confirm the additions to my list of donations. I'm really lucky to not be in a financially precarious position at this time, so I have re-routed a portion of everything I'm NOT spending to these organisations.

The domestic violence charities (and Detention Action) are all new to my list, but I've been donating to Shelter from the Storm, Liberty, and Trussell Trust for awhile. 

If you have any additions to this list, I would love to know - and also if there are any of these which you'd advise against. 

Trussell Trust - Food banks.

Solace Women's Aid - domestic violence organisation providing advice, therapy, accommodation and rape crisis counselling.

Refuge - domestic violence organisation providing community outreach and accommodation for survivors. 

Imkaan - BME-led domestic violence organisation focused on strategy, research and policy. 

Galop - LGBT+-supporting service focusing on hate crime, advocacy, and domestic abuse and providing help and support for survivors.

Shelter from the Storm - free emergency night shelter for up to 38 homeless people every night of the year. My brother volunteers with them and they sound really good.

Liberty - lawyers looking after civil liberties.

Detention Action - campaign for rights of people held in detention and for detention reform.
montfelisky: Chihiro standing under a tree (Default)
I baked sourdough rolls at the weekend, which takes me one stop closer to my goal of being some barefoot bee-keeping treat-baking earth goddess out in the countryside. My manager gave me some of his starter a few weeks ago because I expressed doubt at making my own, and I've been feeding it and reading it case law at the weekends. I decided to write a post about it because several of my friends have expressed the same (1) interest in making bread and (2) doubt in ability to do so.

Read more... )

montfelisky: Chihiro standing under a tree (Default)
This weekend I am hoping to do the following:
* Prepare both of my Tort law workshops (three and four)
* Prepare the activity for Contract law workshop 3 (Friday)
* Update my bujo (January retrospective, February goals, vision board)
* See [personal profile] qian (Saturday)
* Buy a new bed (Saturday)
* Laundry (Sunday)
* Amend budget sheet (Sunday)
* Workout (once) (twice) (Friday & Sunday)
* Cooking for the week ahead
* Phoning my Glasgow!bff (Saturday)
* Making Irish nationality list (docs I need, what I need to do in terms of notarising etc)
* Work on a training contract application

Could this be too much? PROBABLY. But I live and die like a woman I guess.

January retrospective:
We left the EU. This sits in my head like background noise to everything else I do and I am not sure I will ever stop feeling sad and angry about it.

I cycled 71 miles including a new-to-me route to and from Krav Maga (9.5 miles one way, so 19 miles total). The new bike makes cycling to and from work in the same day so. much. easier. than any cycling that I've ever done before. I love this bike. Cycling it is a JOY.

I wrote 352 words. That's probably better than I did last January. It's still not exactly where I want to be in terms of wordcount though haha. [personal profile] scordatura and I have talked about co-writing a story with some of our characters from our shared world which I am super excited about and just need to find physical time and mental space for. I have no doubt it would skyrocket my wordcount.

I baked a peach and white chocolate tray bake which turned out OK despite accidentally quadrupling the sugar - probably because I realised and quadrupled flour in time. But next time the peach will be in proportion to the rest of the ingredients. 
montfelisky: Chihiro standing under a tree (Default)
Oh, I had such a lovely New Year's Eve! Work was very quiet so I did some urgent tasks, reviewed a new database we may be implementing in 2020 (this year, gosh!), cleaned my desk and set up my digital task journal for the coming calendar year. Then I wrote my year in review post, which is under lock on this journal, and did some revision of the separation of powers and constitutional sources, and then got a bus a bit after 8pm to [personal profile] raven 's flat where there were also a [personal profile] happydork , a [personal profile] such_heights , a [personal profile] purplefringe , and [personal profile] raven 's partner A. There were so many delicious snacks and I brought with me three cheeses from the Drunk Cheeses stall at Borough Market and then a panicky amount of crackers, cheese balls and onion rings. It was a quiet and lovely event with friends and mulled wine and little impromptu naps on the floor and I am so glad I went instead of continuing to revise. <3

So the books I read in 2019.. I did not read very many! I was super burned out through the first 6-7 months of the year and had trouble concentrating on reading anything. I watched a lot of Netflix and listened to a lot of podcasts instead. But even though I didn't read a lot, I read more widely than previous years - I read a lot of recs from a friend at work through the latter half of the year, which I think has been good for my reading palate.

Read more... )
montfelisky: Chihiro standing at the waters edge (setting off on a long journey)
I ended up taking yesterday off entirely. I went into London to pick up some gifts I'd left at work and then did a comprehensive tour of Borough Market, where I ate many tiny slivers of cheese, many tiny pieces of bread dipped in olive oil, and one or two tiny pieces of fudge. Then I came home, ordered pizza and watched some Modern Family, and went to bed too late to earn any points for SleepTown*.

Cut for exam prep )


Aside from exam prep, here are the other things I would like to try to get done today but no sweat if I don't:

  • Buy more exam/revision pens and folders from Rymans
  • Get wrapping paper (environmentally sound wrapping paper if possible!)
  • Begin bagel dough
  • Tidy the end table in my room
  • Hoover
  • Begin the second iteration of my gloves now I have my new green
  • Go through books in storage to make space for my cousins coming to stay in SEVEN. DAYS.
  • Work out  


* SleepTown is this great app (for me, anyway) which helps to encourage "healthy" sleep habits. One of my anxiety problems this year has been compulsively checking my phone before going to sleep or when I wake up during the night and this app is hopefully going to help me break out of the habit. I've literally been in bed for two hours hissing at myself "go to sleep u fuck" while furiously scrolling Twitter or Instagram without any sense of pleasure or curiosity. I don't enjoy doing that and I would like to stop. Plus, [personal profile] happydork and I are in a SleepTown circle and building a wonder of the world and that's pretty awesome.
montfelisky: Chihiro with the susuwatari in black and white (it's a hard day's work)
I am not going to write specifically about the election right now (or, perhaps, ever). Yesterday, I drank a bit too much wine at our office Christmas party and then I went through an emotional journey which went (1) drank slightly too much to train Krav Maga safely and (2) I am vibrating out of my skin with anxiety about the election and (3) I am feeling slightly too emotional to want to doorknock in my own new constituency with a bunch of strangers. And thus I ended up getting the Central Line (so warm, so very warm, even in winter) out to a constituency which is not my own to doorknock with [personal profile] happydork. Which, despite the results today, was a good way to spend an evening. The right way to spend my evening.

One day, I would love not to dread an election. I still love the process of voting. I wish it meant more than it does under our electoral system.

I have been thinking a lot today about how not to give in to despair. I am not galvanised by feeling sad or angry, I think in part because I still tend to experience most kinds of anger first as panic, which costs me more than it gives. ETA: And I am realising now that actually I do need to hold space for how sad I feel over the results and Labour's beautiful and deeply hopeful manifesto, rather than just tamping that sadness down inside me under productivity; but to hold that sadness in one hand and what I can do to help in the other. 

Generally what works best for me is a combination of rigorous list-making determination AND deep pettiness. 

So here is a list of things which I can and will do to help contravene this current government:

A list of short term, medium term, and long term things )

... this is just what I have thought of so far. I would love suggestions, with the caveat that, as already stated, I have a full-time job and I'm doing a law degree and I'm not able to stand around or walk slowly for long stints at a time without a fair amount of joint pain. I would also love to hear what is on other people's lists, especially around climate change action.

I am grateful, as ever, for my incredible friends. Solidarity made today more bearable than it would otherwise have been.


montfelisky: Chihiro standing under a tree (Default)
I've been sick since Wednesday. I was feeling a bit out of it on Tuesday but went to training anyway (90% of the time spending two and a half hours fighting makes me feel better, weirdly) and then woke up on Wednesday full of mucus and woe. I sensibly worked from home on Wednesday and Thursday in the hope that avoiding the office air-conditioning would help, but the fever descended anyway and I ended up taking Friday as a sick day. I now feel as though I'm gently convalescing, like a Chalet School student sent to the Alps to recuperate.

This weekend, consequently, has not been very productive (in terms of law study), though I did have an Engling reunion yesterday evening and went for a walk today in the woods near my house. I listened to the 50th episode of My Favourite Murder, which is currently my favourite podcast, and petted three (3) dogs. 

Photos of my walk )

All in all, it was a very lovely restorative walk. I enjoyed listening to my podcast and being out in the sunshine and the cold. Then I came home and proceeded to study not at all, and instead have been reading Naruto fanfic on the sofa and half-napping while watching Modern Family. It's OK. I'll study much more productively once my body is well again.



montfelisky: Chihiro standing under a tree (Default)
[personal profile] usuallyhats posted a link to the BBC's list of 100 novels that shaped our world and because I bloody love a list (and checking stuff off of it), here we go. Hard to say if I'll treat this like a reading to-do list when I already have my tsundoku to work through, but it is interesting to see which ones I've read and which I've not yet. And of course, there are a few I'm not sure I can be bothered to read - though thankfully unless I'm selectively blinkered there appears to be no Franzen on this list.  

A list )
montfelisky: Chihiro standing on the balcony over the water (it's a new dawn a new day a new life)
Inspired by various friends making actual lists of their tsundoku piles, I went through my shelves and did mine. I've only done books which I own, either in physical or digital format. This does not include books on my to-read list which I don't own - there are several of these lists, in my bullet journal and con notebook and various emails from friends (notably [personal profile] scordatura, my book reccer extraordinaire) and one day they shall be compiled into one list to rule them all.

Physical Books )
Digital Books )
montfelisky: Chihiro standing under a tree (Default)
I've been so productive today. The Baby Bean and I had the final episode of s2 of Killing Eve to watch (satisfying, still working out how I feel about it) and I'd decided to make us a special breakfast to celebrate. I made spicy fried eggs with soy sauce, garlic mushrooms and kale, and cut thick wedges of challah to have with it all.

And now I've done my baking for tomorrow's baking day at work, plus extra baking for WorldCon. And I studied the first part of my first law unit for the GDL. All I have left is hoovering my bedroom and some kind of writing work.

But first, a meme via [personal profile] dolorosa_12!

Name ten of life's simple pleasures that you like most, then pick ten people to do the same. (It always feels like such an imposition to tag people in these memes. If you like the idea of this, consider yourself tagged.)

1. A mug of hot black tea first thing in the morning, with a spoonful of honey stirred into it.

2. A nap upon the sofa, with an episode of something soothing and familiar on TV (or Jurassic Park), turned down low enough that it does not impose upon the nap.

3. Drinking a glass of water after working out.

4. Early morning walks in the park, when the air smells fresh and like an adventure, and the sky looks impossibly high up and brand new. And evening walks in the park too, just at or after sunset.

5. A piece of fresh warm bread, spread with butter.

6. Jab & cross punching drills on a strike pad.

7. Sitting on the sofa under a blanket while the rain pours down outside.

8. Waking in the morning before you intend to and feeling utterly rested, with enough time to lie there and enjoy being in bed before getting up.

9. A cat coming to say hello as you walk to work.

10. Clean bedding.
montfelisky: Chihiro walking along the rail line underwater (where the water meets the sky)
Inch by inch, I feel as though I'm emerging from the burnout pit I disappeared into through the beginning of the year. I'm gradually starting to read again, though very slowly - it's approximately one book a month, or more accurately, one book every six weeks, but at least I am reading and taking pleasure in what I'm reading. I finished a re-read of Aliette de Bodard's The House of Shattered Wings and now I'm reading The Night Circus by Erin Morgernstern. It's delightful. I'm reading very slowly. I'm also reading a (for me) ludicrous quantity of fanfiction (primarily Guardian, with a dash of Good Omens). I'm not writing at all. But I assume that will come inching back as well - I've sat down a few times to jot down notes about dybbuknovel, but any attempt to actually sit down and write properly results in my brain making a furious staticky noise at me.

It's interesting, because I'm also not really able to play games at the moment. I've made a few abortive attempts at Stardew Valley and Shadow of the Tomb Raider. For a long time, through the spring, the only thing I could concentrate on was Netflix. Writing, gaming, reading; these all felt like too much effort in order to consume or produce stories. I couldn't concentrate on any of them. Now the reading is creeping back in, so I assume next will be gaming, then writing.

The other things I've noticed: I'm marginally more on top of communicating with friends, marginally better at making and sticking to plans, but I still get very easily overwhelmed. I've pulled out of several social engagements where organising them has involved a huge amount of Whatsapp back-and-forth with different people. And there are other things my brain just gets stuck at and then skips over, like drawing in my spreads for July in my bullet journal or consulting my diary to actually make plans. I keep intending to make an osteopath appointment to get my knee checked out and that hasn't happened yet.

It still feels a bit ridiculous to be so burned out by what was, after all, just 2 months. That's nothing compared to three years at Cambridge. But I suppose it was not just that. The general environment of my life landscape around it was also quite inhospitable before, during, and after that time. I should have taken some time off afterwards and not waited for Passover. I have learned from this, though - after the first year of the GDL, I will hopefully be cycling the Outer Hebrides with my best friend (and possibly her lovely husband) and I cannot imagine a nicer way to anchor my soul back into my body.
montfelisky: Chihiro standing under a tree (Default)
This was my first year staying in the con hotel since the convention moved to the Hammersmith Novotel rather than the (nominally) Heathrow Radisson Blu and it was both so much nicer than commuting from home to the convention or staying in the Radisson ever was. The staff were so lovely and I thought it was incredibly sweet how a lot of them costumed up for the convention. And it was nice being able to get up in a leisurely fashion and have breakfast with friends instead of frantically navigating the whims of TFL on a weekend.

Read more... )

Overall, on a personal level I think I probably enjoyed this NineWorlds more than any of the previous. It felt like I finally knew enough people not to have "friend fear" at any point, and I wasn't trying to do all the panels, and every single panel I did go to was excellent. Aliette was an extremely lovely roommate (and did not seem to hate me for snoring like a dragon every night), although I did miss [personal profile] qian very much - next year I will be better at wrangling a triple room if we all go again! But I appreciated so much being in a space where everyone understands the need to bugger off to your room for a wee lie down at any given moment in the afternoon because I do basically spend my entire life longing for a small nap.
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